8th December 2007

i simply hate being made use of by ppl.but hu to blame except for being so gullible (not sure if it is the right word). anw...recently found a job. working for my math tutor helping him to type and check his math worksheets. and the fact tt i've to do integration and vectors (to double check answers)sux cuz it feels like i'm siting for the alevls all over again and its doubly sucky when u've forgotten how to do them and u've to read up on them. wtf. and 2dae worse still.i've got to move things for him.reached the centre at bugis at 8.40 and immediately was sent to tampines to move things. at least 3 trips from the car to the centre and pushing and carrying and moving all those heavy loads of papers and books.omg tt sux.and i've go to return to bugis and unload all tt stuff.another 2-3 trips up to the 5th floor. then rushed back to tampines again to move and carry stuff again.and back to bugis again to unload.realli sux.SUX! all tt sai kang for $6 an hr.(lolx.dun realli noe whether i shld complain anot).my dad was telling me my tutor realli saving alot liddat on movers. cuz u nid to pay movers abt $500 to do all tt. but now he's paying me $42 and the other guy abt the same amt (but i tink more cuz he's an undergrad).haiz.wadeva.=.="

then had to meet a fren to pass him the zoukout tix. initially he offered me $30 for it.then after tt when the date was closer alr he told mi he didnt want it anymore.so wad to do?since no one is going to buy it then muz well give it to him.so he said meet at dhoby ghaut 2dae.n so i did after work.n i waited.

called him after tt and he said he's still at home.(he said he was at home when i was at outram). n he told mi to go serangoon mrt to meet him and he said he's leaving home.n so i did.waited waited and waited again.he called me.said he's at home again.fuck.and he told me to meet him at the prata hse near his place.and so i did again.went there.gave it to him. and found out tt he's going to sell them.

i'm super pissed for him playing me ard.and for the fact tt he's using the tix i gave him to sell.he said he wld give me half the amt he earned.fair.he said he's selling for $20 odd dollars.can i even trust him?ahhhhh.i dunno la.tis world's juz so complicated.

sometimes i really hope tt life isnt as complicated as i tink.mebe i'm juz tinking too much into things and tinking other ppl are trying to be complicated when they arent.haha.i dunno.lolx.

went vernon's church ytd.and made many new frens.veri happy abt tt.they asked for the audience to accept christ into their lives and told us to step forward if we wanted to do so.many times i realli wonder if i should baptise.but many times i feel...tt i'm not ready for it.i dunno why.but its juz so.sometimes i realli have the impulse to baptise but i thot tt shldnt be the way and tt i shld find the faith in christ b4 doing so and shld have the kind of commitment to attend church service.but i realli doubt tt i'm able to do tt.so yea...i'm still tinking...haiz.

anw...
life wif dear is always so happy.so without worries.makes me feel the world is so perfect and all. n i tink tis song absolutely describes the sweetness of it all.sometimes juz wandering ard aimlessly wif her cld be such an enjoyable thing.

Jon Mclaughlin-So Close
http://mharsean.imeem.com/music/Av5T5qxc/jon_mclaughlin_so_close/

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

i love u baby. <3