Sunday, 30th November 2008

wad is more impt? her happiness, or mine? its a difficult qn hor? sometimes, ppl like to sae that to be happy make ur loved ones happy.but wad if...u're not in the process of making ur loved ones happy? sometimes...i do realli feel miserable.emo.i dunno wad is right.

she's always giving way to me.like when i sae i have off on the last wk of dec and when she says she's willing to cancel her trekking trip for me? i dunno to feel happy or wad.on one hand, i want to spend tym wif her.on the other hand, i'm thinking if it is out of pity for me or if she's just worried that i'm unhappy. n i noe she wans to go.argh.

there's lots in my mind that i dunno how to sae.u noe...in drama...love is always depicted as sthg so sweet and simple.as they sae "to love is to noe when to let go" i tink its true.another saying says that love is "to see the other one happy". both suggests letting the other party enjoy herself.let her do the things she enjoy most.even if it may not be the best of interest to u.its telling us to be generous with our love and not being selfish and narrow minded. but yet...another school thot says: "do wad u deem is right." YES! this wld make me happier in some cases! say no to this i no to that! say U MUST DO THIS! I WANT THIS! i would be happier to some extent wldnt i? i wonder if that's realli so...haiz.

it sux to tink so much hor.i want to be just like her.simple minded.not tink so much. be happy! do the things she like. but i can't.cuz it scares me how selfish i would become...arghhhhhh!

army do make ppl weird.or izit just me?





Saturday, 15th November 2008

WEEKENDS ARE SOOOOOO BORINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! someone pls go out wif me pls...i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BORED!





Thursday, 6th November 2008

YAY! tmr's an off day! freedom! but not exactly a taste of it after a long time.anyway...the past few days in camp was SUPER slack.had lots of private time to myself.do things i like.gym, run, etc. yea...it was good. sometimes i realli love time in camp. (:

dear dear's exams are coming so soon.on the 24th.and she's got no time to pei me. sad.and haven been going out wif her for so so long.no doubt i did meet her for supper and stuff...but it was realli realli short period of time and i couldnt realli enjoy myself wif her.unlike the good old times when she was so free on the weekends.now, the bulk of her weekends are mostly dedicated to studying.oh wells...but can't realli blame her for it.its the university anw.work, work and more work is part of the 4 years.oh wells. i tried to be there for her, when she's studying i'll accompany her, but after sometime i realli do get bored...cuz there's realli nth much for me to do.but realli...i wanna do sthg for her.be there for her.but how? anyone can teach me how to keep myself entertained when she's studying without being a distraction to her? =(

u noe...sometimes i daydream.in this dream there's a beautifully painted picture of me and dear dear. we're in a room.a room in my house.a very very special room.its a very quiet room that can only been located by me and dear dear. it have doors that can lead us to many many places in the world and these places are empty-there're no other people except us.

in the room there's a tv.and lots and lots of dvds stacked beside it.in front of the tv there's a bed.and on the bed are me and dear dear watching drama serials and movies tgt.and when we're tired, we'll cuddle each other and fall asleep.

in another corner of the room there's a kitchen.and in this kitchen there is a huge fridge, cupboards filled with all kinds of ingredients, ovens, plates, cutlery, etc. when we're hungry we'll wake up and cook for each other.something nice and full of flavour.full of love.and when u eat it, it'll burst with so much warmth and emotions that you'll burst out with tears of joy.yum yum.

after we've eaten.we decided to visit the beach.we pack our stuff and open the door labelled "beach". we stepped foot onto golden sand.the wind is blowing strongly onto our faces, carrying with it the sound of the roaring waves.the sun is basking its rays onto us as tho it was long awaiting our arrival.we threw all our things aside and run towards the sea and splashed water at each other.swim around.tan.

soon it's nightfall.the moon is round and bright.we're tired and hungry.we pitched a tent along the shores and sat in the tent.we brought out our instant bbq pit and set it up just outside the tent and began bbq-ing food for our dinner.we made marshmallows for each other and fed each other.we chit-chat.talk about almost everything.and when we're done, we stepped back into the room.

this room unlocks unlimited boundaries that we can go to.anywhere we want to go to we can go. FUN. and most importantly...its some realli private quality time tgt.

haiz...but still...its a dream...how can it ever happen?haha.

anyway...i hope that my dear dear can get thru her torturous exams fast and quick.spare her the torture.and so that she can quickly go for her treks and spend more time wif me.i missed her presence terribly. =(