title: wad's not urs... will nvr be urs....

what's meant not to be urs will not be urs... maybe i could onli juz remain as frens wif her. but i realli like her alot. haiz...

2dae... supposed to wake up @ 6.30am and go to skl fer run, but felt kindda groggy and continued sleeping till 7.30... then woke up by my uncle. yup... cuz i told him i am going fer a run 2dae... n he had kindly checked to see whether i go up in time. but seriously... i woke up @ 6.30am... cuz i set my handphone alarm. n its kindda sweet to be woken up by guo mei mei's sweet voice. XD her song "gou gou shou" not bad. quite nice. i cut out a portion of her song n used it as my alarm ring tone on my phone.

anyways... i got up and my dad kindly drove me to skl. i then ran 2.4 and after did crunches in 4 intervals... 30-29-25-25... which made up to 100. then stayed in skl till 12 to study fer my bio test on mon. but there's some "grass eradication mission" going on and there's the strong smell of methane hanging in the air... n its kindda noisy. nevertheless... i managed to cover quite a bit... n by a bit i realli mean a bit. n i could realli predict the outcome of my bio test. i have yet o finish one set of lecture notes when there's like 8 or more sets? dots. n its saturday 2dae... left wif the evening n sunday to study fer the test. i doubt i will ever finish. but i must be OPTIMISTIC! i can... i muz and i will complete the notes!

dots. being alone is so antisocial. imagine sitting alone in skl mugging away. n having lunch in the coffeeshop alone n seeing ppl in pairs or in a grp. i juz feel so jealous. but i noe... tt if i were to be in a grp... i wun n i can't study... cuz i will make lotsa lame jokes n stuff. haiz... n i noe its kindda impossible between me n the girl of my dreams. dots. she's juz so cute. n anything she saes juz makes my day. damn... obsession... no no... i cannot tink bout her anymore. look... when she's in uni... i will still be in NS. n when she gets her degree... i will onli be in uni 2. even if i somehow get her as my girlfren, when i m in NS, it would mean less time fer her! and haiz... i can't juz waste 2 yrs of her life fer mi... i muz let her go when she found herself a better guy. n i noe... @ tt time... it would juz hurt mi so much.

well... some things are not meant to be urs. you wanna kip her in your pocket and never let her go. but... i luv her... i wish the best fer her... n i muz learn to let her go. with selfishness there wun be happiness. so... i will choose to kip mum bout her identity n let her live her life in peace... i would rather feel the pinch now... n kip all the pain to myself... rather than let both parties suffer when the time arrives. i m still young... affairs of the heart shouldn't occupy me now... esp. when i dun have the money to provide fer her. fate... i will leave everything to fate...

in the meantime... i will work on my FATS and tink of how to lose them n make shaun find them n kip them fer himself. XD hahaz... n of course... there's studies which will determine my future. i duno wad future holds fer mi... but i noe... n i m sure... future lies in my hands... if i luv her... i will give her the best of everything... i will study hard... get a stable n well-paying career... n if we r fated... i will provide the best fer her. rest assure... i will....